Tag Archives: kids

Mengapa Public Speaking itu Penting?

Menjadi Ekspresif dengan Public Speaking Bermanfaat bagi Perkembangan Anak Anda

1 # “Pandai Berkomunikasi”

Mampu mengatakan suatu hal secara langsung (straight to the point) adalah kelegaan besar bagi anak Anda dalam mengutarakan apa yang mereka rasakan, terutama ketika begitu banyak pengalaman emosional yang terjadi dalam diri mereka sendiri. Lalu, sebagai orangtua dan guru kita mungkin beranggapan bahwa mereka membuat Anda frustasi karena bersikap tak bertanggung jawab dan tidak sopan dengan bagaimana mereka bersikap… namun ingatlah—bahwa ada sebab dan akibat dibalik semua ini.

Saat Anda membaca ini, Anda sedang mengalami hal serupa yang terjadi pada SETIAP orangtua dan guru manapun di planet bumi maka apa yang perlu dipahami adalah fakta bahwa anak-anak ini sesungguhnya merasa tidak nyaman karena mereka ingin mengutarakan semuanya dalam seketika, alasan mereka melakukannya adalah karena mereka sedang mempelajari Konsep Dirinya masing-masing (walaupun lumayan “abstrak”)

Ini seperti halnya merangkai bagian-bagian dari sebuah puzzle utuh, kok.

 

Pengetahuan Public Speaking memberi peningkatan pada buah hati Anda seiring mereka mempelajari diri mereka lebih baik lagi, mengurangi tekanan dengan mampu menyalurkan ketidaknyamanan (marah, sedih, dll.) melalui cara-cara yang layak, untuk mampu melihat persoalan dan solusi dengan lebih jelas lagi, dan yang teramat penting untuk mampu mengekspresikan diri mereka pribadi, secara utuh apa adanya.

2 # “Merasa Nyaman”

Ayolah, jujur saja, para orang tua dan guru di sekolah lebih memilih berkomunikasi dengan anak-anak yang menunjukkan sikap santun dan lebih memiiki tanggung jawab, hal itu juga lebih diterima di masyarakat umum. Namum fakta gamblangnya adalah siapapun yang berada dalam kondisi tubuh, pikiran dan yang sehat jiwa tentu juga akan merasakan hal yang sama… mereka menyebarkan energi positif. Maka apa saja yang dibutuhkan anak Anda untuk berada di kondisi yang sama? Mereka butuh untuk mengetahui bahwa it’s ok” untuk menjadi diri mereka sendiri.

Dikutip dari blog Indah Soekotjo (Professional Image Trainer), menurut Brian Tracy terdapat tiga kunci utama dari Konsep Diri:

  • Self Ideal (Diri Ideal)
  • Self Image (Citra DIri)
  • Self Esteem (Jati Diri)

Bermula dari Self Esteem maka anak-anak dan remaja semakin antusias untuk menerima panduan tentang bagaimana membuat rencana-rencana dalam hidup, tahap demi tahap.

3 # “Cerdas Dalam Kehidupan Sehari-hari”

Penuh ketulusan dan unik apa adanya! Mereka mampu tampil berekspresi di bidang-bidang yang mereka sukai dan juga kuasai tanpa perlu merasa ragu untuk mengembangkan potensi-potensi terbaik mereka.

Mengapa? Karena sekedar menjadi pintar atau teramat fasih berbicara dengan sopan saja tidaklah cukup, diperlukan keseimbangan antara sikap dan perilaku disertai elemen-elemen lainnya yang menjadi karisma utama yang menyertai mereka seiring mereka terus bertumbuh.

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Why Public Speaking Is Important?

Being Expressive with Public Speaking is Good for Your Child Development

 1 # “Well Spoken”

Being able to say it straight to the point is a huge relieve for your children in expressing what they feel, especially when they feel so much is happening, emotionally, with themselves. Thus, as parents or teachers we might think that they are giving you frustration for being irresponsible and disrespect by the way they behave… but remember—there is certainly a cause and effect for all this.

When you are reading this, you are having similar experience with ANY other parents and teachers on planet earth. So what needed to be understood is the fact that these children are actually feeling uncomfortable since they wanted to express it all at once, the reason they are doing so is  because they are exploring their Concept of Self (although rather “abstractly”).

It’s like pieces of puzzle, really.

The knowledge of Public Speaking brings improvements to your children as they learn to know about themselves better, reduce the tension by them knowing how to outlet their discomfort (anger, sadness, etc) into an understandably courteous way, to be able to perceive problem and solution more clearly, and  most importantly to be able to express themselves, altruistically.

 

 

2 # “Feel OK”

Let’s be honest, parents and teachers at school find it easier to relate with children who show good behavior, well-mannered, have courtesy and is responsible as is also humble since it is more acceptable in the society. But frankly, any human being who is at a balance state of mind-body-and soul would feel the same way… they spread POSITIVE vibes. So what does it takes for your children to feel the same? They need to know that it’s OK to be their own self.

Quoted from Indah Soekotjo’s blog (a Professional Image Trainer), according to Brian Tracy there are three key parts of Self Concept;

  • Self Ideal
  • Self Image
  • Self Esteem

From there, they are more eager to receive guidance and to make plans, step by step.

 

3 # “Street-smart”

They are altruistic, they are unique! They will speak up and stand out in what they are good at, to overcome the fear (even controlling it), to strive and reach their best potentials.

Why? Because being smart or even extraordinarily smart in saying the right word won’t be enough, a good balance of attitude combined with few other elements will be their golden charm as it is naturally imbued as they keep on growing.

 

Stay blessed in a simple soulful Love,

 

~ EA & DB ~

 

 *Please visit PublicSpeakingforKidsandTeens for more course info in Jakarta, Indonesia*

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Knowing Your Children from How They Communicate (Part I)

When a child reach the age of 10 and above, even from the way they speak, you can start to identify the nature and character (personality) of the child and recognize their communication style. Each child has their own elements of uniqueness, all which did not escape the great masterpiece design of the Creator as the Great Architect.

Therefore, in order to simplify the sorting, we divide the personality into these 9 (nine) types. Surely, each one of them has their own uniquity 🙂

  1. They Who Like to be Specific / The Perfectionist Child
  2. They Who Like to be Helpful / The Kind-Hearted or Angelic Child
  3. They Who Like to Show-It / The Performer Child
  4. They Who Like to be Imaginative and Intuitive /The Romantic Child
  5. They Who Like to Analyze / The Detective Child
  6. They Who Like to Criticize / The Critical Questioner Child
  7. They Who Like to Have Fun / The Jovial Child
  8. They Who Like to Take the Lead / The Bossy Child
  9. They Who Like it All in Harmony / The Peace-loving Child
* These Nine categories are based and inspired from the Enneagram method of research.

t1“They Who Like It to be Specific”

  1. The Perfectionist Child

Perfectionists children tend to criticize themselves. They do this to anticipate others from criticizing them in advance (either it’s their parents, brother / sister, friend or anyone else). They do not like being criticized by others because it made them feel like they did something faulty (they want to do everything the right way!).

This ability helps them to become “more mature” than their age, It’s because they have the habit (or they are trained in such a way) to be able to think precisely therefore, they are good at imagining the role of a more mature individual. However, they can be very straight to the point.

Self critic represents their efforts in suppressing their negative emotion and to fulfill the expectations of their parents and teachers.

The Perfectionists children loved being praised for their efforts… give them a consistent guidance on how they could improve themselves more and also on how to become much more patient in enjoying the process “of becoming” so they may feel more comfortable to express what they like and dislike.

t2“They Who Like to be Helpful”

  1. The Kind-Hearted / Angelic Child

A bit similar to the Perfectionist child when handling criticism. The Kind-Hearted child is very sensitive to rejection and criticism as they take it to a deeper level. These children tried their best to please others (mostly their parents) by being a very helpful and obedient child whom demonstrate compliances. They can be very expressive and may ask you many questions or else become very reserved in their own reverie.

Their have this habit of harboring their feelings or hiding their needs. They do this quietly because they do not want to disappoint or being regarded as a burden to others… They do this to make people like (and accept) them.

The Kind-hearted children need to feel they are being understood. Give them the flexibility to be themselves sincerely and a clear direction of what is proper and what is not.

t3“They Who Like to Show-It”

  1. The Performer Child

In contrast to the Kind-Hearted Child, these children does not actually worry about the criticism of others, they can take it all as a challenge for them to gain more improvement. They enjoy the feeling of being in a competition (it triggers their adrenaline!) and strive hard to achieve any award for their effort. They also like to be in the center of attention and tend to be very expressive, and by that, they expressed their opinion bluntly (even towards adults) because of their great curiosity (and their competitive nature).

A Performer Child likes to perform need to be given the chance to prove their own self. Provide them with the freedom to explore everything and guide them to understand the value of sharing… of togetherness.

t42

“They Who Like to be Imaginative and Intuitive”

  1. The Romantic Child

The Romantic child has a very high imagination, they tend to be very sensitive and intuitive. Because of their high-level of empathy (perhaps, too much), they are able to understand the feelings of anyone or anything around them.

They would often feel lonely, disconnected or experiencing the loss of something… as a matter of fact, it is because they wanted to always feel different and unique (which they already are). This “rare” quality within made them feel that they deserved to be treated with an extra appreciation or at least with a little bit more attention than the other children (and it happens, naturally). They love to associate themselves with their idol/idealistic figures and they may become rebellious if they are being criticized or being misunderstood.

A Romantic Children would really love it when they are being treated fairly by people around them, no matter of their age, it helps them to be able to express their honest feelings. For the Romantic Child, the world of arts may consistently foster their social skills, frequently consulted them about living a life with diverse environments and ask their opinion in return, also of how unique everyone already is. It will balance their empathy and tolerance in life.

t5

“They Who Like to Analyze”

  1. The Detective Child

These children spent much of their time alone, whether it’s reading, doing their hobbies, collecting unique stuff, and others. Their mind are filled with curiosity about everything in life as it is also an independent mind. They are happy to use their excellent logic of thinking, they like to question their teachers and often display themselves without emotion so to express that they are not afraid. A scientist-stereotype. They do this because they are actually very sensitive with their feelings and try to avoid any personal conflict as much as possible. They highly appreciate their privacy and do not like to be controlled by anyone nor under any domination of others without their approval.

A bit similar to the Romantic child in terms of questioning about life, let these children explore how intelligent they are. Help them learn to see the world from a wider point of view, ask their opinions about humanity and pure love. Direct them to begin to understand the reality of life and how the causal law runs. Cooperate with them to expand their friendship and become acquainted with various kind of people, cultivate their ability to socialize naturally.

T6b

“They Who Like to Criticize”

  1. The Critical-Questioner Child

They are generally friendly and easy to be familiar with other people, they can be relied upon when they are given an instruction to do something. However, when appointed with multi-tasking they may express fear of bad things to come, such as the risk of dangers that might occur, fear of insecurity, and so on… They are very aware about their safety. Their anxiety is usually adopted from their parents, as they grew up watching it, this is also why they like to be within a group or a solid community so they may feel safe.

The critical-questioner children need to feel safe and secure. Give them direction so that they are able to undergo everything by doing it one by one, to acquire mutual interest in listening and speaking in return, to become calm and composed. Be attentively aware when communicating with these children as they may scan your gestures, mimic and your reactions, in an advancing manner.

 

T7b

“They Who Like to Have Fun”

  1. The Jovial Child

The Jovial children are action oriented and likes adventures as they are fascinated with freedom. Imagine a fairy tale about a trip to the magical land, meeting fairies and pirates. This is how they are, they can be very spontaneous and able to easily get along with adults. Surprisingly, the jovial children would prefer not being alone even though they would immediately want freedom after it (they do not like the feeling of being attached to anyone) .

In communicating with The Jovial Child, clearly specify the rule of the house. Explain them who is the decision maker or the leader, so these children learn to adapt themselves to the circumstances. Teach them to be friendly, give them direct lessons in open nature (be it camping, fishing, scouting, hiking, etc.) so they learn how to be compact as a team and also to make peace with their own emotions, by balancing the physical and the non-physical.

 

T8

“They Who Like to Take the Lead”

  1. The Bossy Child

These children shows a naturally independent attitude since their early stage with great energy, they generally liked the physical activity and able to influence their friends to follow their footsteps. Even so, they do this in advance so that they are not under anyone’s control. They would not hesitate to show their energetic spirit and able to fight back verbally (or physically), if provoked. These children needs a lot of tenderness and reassurance that everything is fine and that no one would get hurt or hurt them and the ones they loved.

When communicating with these children, help them to be able to express their concern and expectations, direct them to arrange their activities with good time management and show them that you believe in their capability. Appreciate their perseverance, accompany them when they are upset. Direct them to understand that everything in life happens naturally and requires a process and that everyone continue to learn as much as they are too.

Most important of all, teach them tenderness and compassion to be able to forgive.

T9

“They Who Like it All in Harmony”

  1. The Peace-loving Children

As the name implies, they would love everything to be in peace and the situation to be calm and neutral.

These children prefer not to become a burden for anyone. In a case of conflict, for example, they would rather disappear than resolving the issues immediately (unless, they are forced to do so). This behavior is actually the result of their consideration in wanting to defend the interests and to meet the needs of both parties: “a win-win solution” by decreasing everyone’s burden with their presence.  So it’s either they are able to do something about it and established peace in the situation.  Or, they are not able to do something about it, and look for peace in the aftermath (after they have gone or walk away from the situation). They rejects anger and so they keep it for themselves. Uniquely, they can have a very strong emotional bond with nature.

The peace-loving children think everyone’s needs are equally important and might be confused on how to transfer their understanding to people around them as to keep it reasonable still. Even so, they are fiercely loyal to their family and is obedient to follow the rules. Be continuous in giving them appreciation. It is most effective to develop their communication and social skill by encouraging them to play and perform various physical activities in open nature.

Again, show them how you appreciate their dedication but also point them out on how to have fun, and that it’s okay to be silly and spontaneous at times. Continue to challenge them on trying new things


Please keep in mind that their character development are influenced by what they see, hear and feel since their early age, including their parent’s behavior and the condition of their closest environment, which is the family. These are the basic factors in the Enneagram which affect the child development in reaching adulthood.

Of course, a more in-depth dialogue with the Parents would be needed in order to know more of the causal effect which has constructed the children’s communication style, pattern and Enneagram type.

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